He Knows the End From the Beginning

In the midst of a trial, great or small, have you wondered where your Heavenly Father was and why he wasn’t hearing or answering your prayers? I’m ashamed to admit that I have. But this morning, for no particular reason, my mind went back to some incidents that happened in my life that remind me that He is always there and He always answers our prayers, spoken or only felt, in the best possible way.

In 1976 I was not a happy person. Bob had been out of work for a year and a half, I was working part time. He stayed at home with four-year-old Gayle. We were members of a neighborhood Catholic parish which we did not attend with any frequency. My life, at least, was not in order, and although I knew that, I didn‘t have any idea how to change it. I was struggling personally as well as with the circumstances in our lives.

After having looked for a job for a length of time, Bob started thinking that his best option would be to join the Army. Not only would he have a job, but they would give him special training in the field of his choice. He had served his obligation in the National Guard for six years in the late ‘60’s and early 70’s, and at the end of that time had sworn that he would never stand in line again. I took that to mean that he was definitely done with military service. When he announced to me, pretty much out of the blue, that he was thinking about joining the Army, I was horrified. I knew what that would entail: we would have to leave our home, our home town, all of our friends, and our family, and we would become -- gasp -- Gypsies!! I protested long and loudly. I refused. I probably even stomped my feet and cried. And I must have prayed that this foolish ideal would evaporate.

Looking back, I see now that Heavenly Father knew my needs so much better than I. He was moving me in a direction to end my struggling and help me make my life right, to put it in harmony with the best that He has for me. I didn’t know that at the time, of course, so when Bob came home from enlisting, I cried. He was committed for four years. When he showed me on a map where we would be living in Texas, I ripped the page from the atlas into many pieces and told him of all the places I might want to live, that is, if I ever even considered leaving Toledo, Texas was the last place I would choose. He was unfazed. He calmly but firmly told me that he had joined the Army and that he was going. I could stay or I could go. That was that.

We had been married almost ten years. I hadn’t come that far through the challenges of early married life, to give up yet. I swallowed my pride, and began doing all that needed to be done to move our little family to Texas and to adjust to a whole new life ahead. I told Bob I was with him for four years, but no more, and after that if he chose to stay in the Army, he would be doing it alone. I still wasn’t happy, but I was going. I didn't know it at the time, but I was taking the first step toward putting my will in line with Heavenly Father’s.

to be continued